THE LOST ART OF RELATIONSHIP
relationships with people? One thing you could do is just to walk away. One of the best ways to disconnect is to tell yourself that you need to move on, and physically remove yourself from the individual(s) who has been an obstacle in your life.
Some might say, “Well, we need to be willing to witness and share God’s love with everyone.” While this is true, there is nothing that says we need to place ourselves in a compromising temptation to do so. There is an inherent incompatibility that requires disconnection. Here are some thoughts to remember when deciding to leave a relationship that we know is damaging. When we disconnect, whether temporarily or indefinitely, do so…
…with grace and truth;
Be honest with yourself and with others about your boundaries. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend wrote an incredible work called Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No—To Take Control of Your Life. When you communicate with grace and truth, you will understand there are certain limits which you should never cross. If someone tries to force you or you get easily tempted to cross those lines, set a boundary in your life. You can do this with your friends, family, work, and any relationship. The only relationship you and I should not have boundaries with—nor can we have any boundaries with—is with God.^9
Show dignity and separate yourself with honor for others. This is the grace part. We are taking full responsibility for our own actions. This is not a blame on someone else, because we are ultimately the reason we do what we do, say what we say, and go where we go. We can honor others by being respectful in our disconnection, not speaking poorly (slander) or microphone dropping negative comments or remarks as we disconnect. This person is still someone that God considers worthy of the life of Jesus on the cross.
…in humility; Disconnect without turning people off from a relationship with God. We should never say, “God told me to disconnect with you.” Why place the blame on God when we are the ones that are having the difficulty with our own boundaries? This can be difficult to do, no doubt. However, our desire should be to point people to Jesus, not turn them away from him. We can do this by squarely placing the responsibility for the disconnection where it belongs—on ourselves. This takes humility.
When we humble ourselves, we present to those in our lives that we are not perfect but in need of the love, forgiveness, and guidance from God. Our relationships with others are too important to not spend quality time with